What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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