I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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