i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
