Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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