i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
