i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
