YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
