Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
