That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
