I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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