Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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