new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My balls are so social today.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
