We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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