my mouth tastes like poor choices
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
