My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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