Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
