playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
