ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
