Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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