How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
