I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
