First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
be right there i have to get my cape
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
