hotel room ftw
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
