So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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