i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
