he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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