Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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