If i come over, it means nothing
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize