A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
