she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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