dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
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