Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
