Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
