Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
