this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
tell me about the fingering
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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