its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
