I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
