She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
