Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
