He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
