on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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