yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
