They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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