New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
