oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Randomize
