I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
