call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
