I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just invented taco cereal.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
