anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
