I'm drive I can fine osifer
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
