I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
