I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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