Yo dont text me then not text me
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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