I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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