Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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