There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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