is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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