the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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