fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
im drinking this country out of the recession.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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