Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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