You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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