Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
