you would pick up someone in the library
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
