U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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